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Sometime in September, 2019

We’re laying in front of her mirrored-wall. I’m enthralled by it, looking into our reflections looking for a friendship that doesn’t exist yet. She’s dreaming, I could tell then too. She’s thinking of the possibility of a different kind of evening. This is all we have for now. I was wondering what brought me there, at that moment of time. I didn’t like the unfamiliarity of it, I yearned for stability, a constant star, she hates the monotony, wants something different. In a funny way, we both wanted to run away. Or maybe, after all this time I wonder if that’s what all 15 year olds want to do. We start another conversation, we can’t lay in silence with a stranger, everyone knows that. So S asks, “What was your old school like?” A little pause, I didn’t think of it as my old school yet. “It was nice, I had a good group of friends. A little stressful, demanding you know the type,” She nods, “Well, I’ve never been in any other school so not really,” I imagine that for a minute, the possibility of staying in one place forever. “That’s nice, you’ll start and finish in the same place,” She looked at me strangely then, later I’d find out it was confusion. “How do you like it? Our school? You seem uncomfortable sometimes,” I took that in, didn’t know she had noticed anything about me, “No, the school’s fine. I just don’t like the newness, it’s a little exhausting not knowing the basics,” She laughs at that, “That’s how I feel about life,” Casual existentialism, 15-year olds do it best. “We know the basics, we are young adults after all,” She turns to me, suddenly the moment becomes more serious. “Do we? I don’t feel like I do most of the times,” I stay silent, its too early to tell her about the rules I’ve devised. “We probably know enough between the two of us. Maybe we should have a pact, share what we know,” We start giggling, after all those years that’s what I miss - the endless mirth of teenage girls.

 

We didn’t know it then, but the pact formed the basis of Us. For the rest of our friendship, we would tell each other what we knew. They’re endless, the basics of life but we thought it would be simpler then. Somehow, through the years we’ve found what we wanted all those years back in each other. She found the wildness she wanted in me, and I found the stability I so desperately needed. Now, writing this, I think it all started that day, in front of the mirrored-wall. 

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